


Self-Care

by debwalsh



Series: Bingo-Bingo [19]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, M/M, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-27 15:33:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19015774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/debwalsh/pseuds/debwalsh
Summary: In which the Winter Soldier discovers that there are methods of self-care that don’t involve weapons. Except of course when competing with Clint on the firing range.We revisit the Steve and Bucky of Art Therapy for a little bit of feels.My Patreon patron Noukian asked for Shrinkyclinks, which fills the A4 square on my Marvel Bingo card.  It’s my genuine pleasure to deliver!





	Self-Care

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Noukian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noukian/gifts).



> If you haven’t read Art Therapy, my entry for the Shrinkyclinksfest 2019, this isn’t going to make much sense.
> 
> As I sat down to write this, I realized that Bucky hadn’t been treated very well by his teammates in the world of Art Therapy. And Steve can be a pissy little bitch. So have some Bucky learning to understand that he has a right to ask for nice things.

Bucky held Steve’s tiny feet in his lap and massaged the ball of one foot with total concentration.Steve practically moaned at the sensation when Bucky’s thumbs found and broke apart a particular knot of tension.

“Honey, your back is out again, isn’t it?You really should have Doc Cho take a look at it.”

“I’m not broken and I’m not an Avenger, Buck.If I’m too much trouble, tell me now and I’ll be on my way.”

Bucky dropped Steve’s hand in shock, staring at him with his mouth hanging open. Tears pricked at his eyes.“Why would I think you’re too much trouble, Steve?I love you.D’you think I’m too much trouble?I mean, I got this,” he held up his metal hand, “and I’m all scarred up. And my head - you know it doesn’t always work right.Am I too much trouble? Are you gonna leave me?”

Steve clambered into Bucky’s lap then, straddling his thighs, and gently cradled Bucky’s face between his hands.He leaned forward and kissed over each eye, pressing his cheek against Bucky’s forehead as he drew him closer.

“Never,” Steve whispered fiercely as the tremor started in Bucky’s left arm, traveling up until it shuddered across his shoulders and took over his entire frame.Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck and drew him close, pressing Bucky’s face against the join of his neck and shoulder.“I’m never leaving you, baby.I’m a crusty asshole who doesn’t deserve you, but I’m not leaving.You’re nothing but good to me, and I’m a jackass for spewing bullshit at you.It’s okay, Buck.I’m sorry.I’m sorry, okay?You’re too good for me, you always will be.And I’m goddamned lucky you put up with me.Baby, look at me, will you?” he cajoled, and finally, Bucky lifted his red-rimmed eyes to look at Steve. 

“Oh, baby.Shit, I’m sorry.It’s just -“

“You were hurting and you took it out on me.I understand.”

“No, you don’t need to understand.I was wrong.You don’t have to accept that from me.”

“But I do.”

“I’m not going to tell you what to do.You’ve had too much of that already.But I want you to think about asking for more for yourself, Buck.You have the right to expect better from me.I’d like you to demand it.Well, maybe not demand, but expect it. Ask for it.Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“You want me to person more.”

“I want you to take care of Bucky more.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“No.People person all the time, but don’t take care of themselves.You person just fine, baby.But you need to look out for yourself more.”

“Why?”

“So you don’t get hurt so easily.So you have more control.So you’re happier.”

Bucky thought about it for a moment, then nodded.“Okay.I’ll try.And you ... you’ll see a doctor about your back?If not Doctor Cho, then someone else?”

Steve smiled at Bucky then, and kissed the tip of his nose.“Okay.We’ll both learn to practice a little self-care.I’ll get an appointment with my orthopedist.Satisfied?”

“I will be once you make the appointment.”

“Ah, good thing I love you,” Steve grumbled, But his smile belied his tone of voice.And then he realized the position he was in, and his smile turned sly.He pressed against Bucky and kissed him, rolling his hips forward to grind against the thick line of Bucky’s dick inside his pants.

Bucky’s hands flew to Steve’s slender hips, guiding him into a more aggressive roll.Bucky moaned into their kisses, and Steve smiled wider.It didn’t take long for Bucky to carry him, legs wrapped around Bucky’s waist, to the bedroom, where he made sure that Steve’s back was in a comfortable position before fucking him into the mattress.

&&&

“Barnes, hey, wait up,” Sam Wilson called from down the hallway.Bucky was headed toward the gym to work out with the punching bags, to help work out a kink in his left shoulder.But he turned and waited for Wilson to catch up.

“I wanted to apologize.”

“For what?”

“Me and Nat, and Clint - we were all kinda assholes toward you when we found out about you and Steve.”

“That’s okay.I did kind of set Steve up with those nicknames.”

“Well, yeah, but we still could’ve been more supportive.None of us have been very good teammates, considering none of us even knew your first name was James.None of us had bothered to find out.”

Bucky frowned at that.The way Sam was talking, it sounded like Sam thought he’d done something wrong, but Bucky wasn’t sure what that could be.“Bucky.I prefer Bucky.”

Sam grinned at him then.“Okay.Bucky.Look ... I know you’ve been through a lot of shit.I just wanted to let you know there are people who can help.”

“I see the therapist every week.She tells me I’m doing better.”

“Yeah, okay.But you know I work at the VA, right?”Bucky shook his head.“Okay, well, I do.I’m a group counselor there.I work with vets who’ve seen shit, you know?Who carry wounds on the outside and the inside.And sometimes, being with a group of people who’ve been through a lot can help.Even if it’s not the same shit you went through, having a group of people around you who understand - that can help.”

“Okay?”

“What I’m trying to say is I’d like you to try joining my group. Sit in on a session or two, maybe stick around and participate.”

“Why?”

“It could be good for you.A way to deal with what’s happened, a no judgment zone.”

“Hmm.Is this a form of self-care?”

“Yeah, yeah it is.Seeking help, seeking understanding, that’s a way to take care of yourself.So yeah.”

“Okay.Yeah, I’ll try it out. Thanks.”

&&&

“Going to the range to get in some target practice.Wanna see who’s better?”

“I will outshoot you, Clint.You can’t match my skill as a sniper.I am unmatched with a gun.”

“Who said anything about a gun.I’m an archer, motherfucker.”

“Huh.Okay.”

&&&

Natasha sat down on the cushion beside him, and leaned forward, placing a bottle of vodka, its surface frosty with a sheen of ice, on the coffee table in front of them.

“I can’t get drunk.”

“Neither can I.I’m Russian.That’s not the point.”

“What is the point?”

“Team building.I treated you like an object, and that wasn’t right.No wonder you came up with stupid nicknames.”

“I would’ve come up with stupid nicknames even if we were good friends.”

“Drink up.Come up with better ones.”

&&&

“James,” Pepper greeted.

“Bucky.I prefer to be called Bucky.”

“Bucky,” she repeated with a shy smile.“Okay.I wanted to check in with you.See how you’re doing.How Steve is doing.”

“He’s going to the doctor.He promised me.”

“Oh?For what?”

“His back.It bothers him a lot.”

“Oh.Oh - I have an idea!We have an in-house masseuse, you know.Why don’t I schedule you both for couple’s massages?”

“Massages?”

“Yes.You’ve never had a massage before?”

Bucky shook his head, feeling suddenly tense and wary.“That involves touching, doesn’t it?”

“Well, yes.That’s the point of it.Good touch to help you feel better.”

“Good touch.”

“Yes.”

“But not sexual touch.”

“Not in this case.It can be used that way, between consenting adults.But if Steve’s back is bothering him, and your shoulder - you’re holding your arm a little funny - I don’t think you could give each other massages.But massages together, in the same room, where you can see him ...”

“That might work.I can say no, right?”

“At any time, yes, you can say no.”

“Okay.”

“Really?Okay, I’ll text Steve to see what his schedule is, and get that set up for you.I think you’ll like it.”

“Okay.”

&&&

“Really?I love massages.”

“Then why haven’t you been having them for your back?”

“Can’t always afford them.”

“The masseuse works here.I’ll ask Pepper, but I think you can have a massage anytime you want one.If it’s not free, I’ll pay for it.I don’t have anything to spend my money on anyway.”

“Buck, I need to teach you about retail therapy.”

“Is that another form of self-care?”

“Yeah, I think you could say that.This Saturday, how about we go shopping?Just wandering, see if we can find things you like.Things that make you happy or help you feel good.”

“Will you hold my hand while we shop?You know I don’t like crowds.”

“I’m not crazy about them, either.But I’m crazy about you.I would love to hold your hand while we shop.I wanna show off my beautiful boyfriend.Let everyone be jealous of how amazing you are.”

“Is that another form of self-care?”

“Omigod, yes.Pride.I’m so proud to have you as my boyfriend.”

“You are?”

“Of course I am, Buck.You’re beautiful and incredible.You make me happy.No matter how grumpy or pissy I get, you make me happy.”

“I do?”

“Yes, you jerk, you do.Now, hey, you know that sometimes guys get a little excited during a massage, right?”

“Excited?”

“Yeah, it’s not unusual for a guy to get a hard-on, especially if the massage gets at places that really need to be got at.Knots in your muscles, pain, that kind of thing.You feel really good, you know?”

“Oh.Oh, maybe I shouldn’t, then -“

“No, that’s why I wanted to make sure you knew.I want you to know that’s okay.And whether it happens or not ... after, you, me, your bed.For the rest of the day.”

“Oh.That’s a form of self-care, too, isn’t it?”

“Well, in that case, self-care might be jerking off, but there’s no reason why you can’t have someone lend a helping hand.Or other willing body parts,” Steve added grinning lasciviously as he leaned up on tiptoe to plant a kiss on Bucky’s lips.“God, I love you, Buck. And yeah, self-care is doing things that make you feel good, that are good for you.”

“I love you, too.And I love you loving me.That’s good for me.That’s my favorite kind of self care.”

“You’re learning, baby.”

END

**Author's Note:**

> Even super soldiers need love and understanding. :)


End file.
